


it was such a bad idea cause i can't think straight

by gyuma (seokchi)



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, House Party, M/M, Making Out, Party Games, but its okay cuz they have ~each other~, gotta have some teasing, ppl at school are mean, richie thinking he's stupid all the time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23779498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seokchi/pseuds/gyuma
Summary: richie goes to a party, determined that this will be his last chance to see once and for all if eddie likes him back
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 101





	it was such a bad idea cause i can't think straight

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't read or seen 'it' in months so excuse any mistakes in details. im also self-projecting onto richie so there's that

It was a stupid idea going to the party, Richie begins to realize once he arrives outside Lucy Hane’s house. Honestly, when he first heard that Lucy was inviting the whole grade for an end-of-the-year party, his first thought was how he’d prefer to just hang out with the Losers at Bill’s house. But then he started thinking about all those movies and shows where the main character shares a romantic moment with their crush at house parties. And yes, it’s kind of pathetic to believe anything like that could happen to him but he’s getting really desperate with his crush on Eddie and he thinks sitting around at Bill’s will not get him anywhere. He needs a new environment. It seems like with each day that passes, there’s this pressure on him to either suck it up and confess or get over it. He doesn’t want to get over it, he wants to be with Eddie, but all this pining is taking a toll on him. He can’t focus in class because he’s daydreaming about holding hands, he can’t fall asleep at night because he’s replaying all their interactions, and he can’t even listen to a single love song without thoughts of Eddie filling his head. And there’s no way in hell he’s going to confess because he cannot handle a rejection. This party is an absolute last resort for him to see once and for all if there’s any sort of attraction Eddie feels towards him.

The longer he stands outside, the more the chirping of the night crickets makes him feel out of place when he can hear the thumping of the music playing from inside the house. And there’s goosebumps forming on his arms from the chilly breeze picking up so he takes a breath in, walks up the porch steps, and opens the front door. 

The music is loud but the sparse chatter of his peers trying to talk over it seems to be louder. The yellow lights around the house are dimmed, making it difficult to definitively recognize anyone. The kitchen is packed with people leaning and sitting on the counters, sipping from red cups and making flirty small talk with one another. Luckily for Richie, before he can wander too much, Beverly finds him.

“Richie!” she says, appearing from his right and pulling him into a quick hug. 

“Hey, Bev. You drunk yet? Snorting cocaine?”

“The night is young,” she replies simply.

She leads him to a bedroom that appears to belong to a brother of Lucy’s because the walls are covered in movie posters and Star Trek figures are lined up on the dresser. The lights are bright compared to the rest of the house. Ben, Mike, and Stanley are on the carpeted floor––Ben’s drinking out of one of the red cups Richie saw earlier, Mike’s laying on his back with an arm behind his head as a pillow, and Stan just looks elsewhere. Bill’s toying with his fingers, sitting on the bed with Eddie to his left, whose hands are behind him and legs are crossed. They all lift their heads up when Richie and Bev enter before sporting some kind of nice expression of acknowledgement.

“Look who I found,” Bev says, closing the bedroom door behind him and the music is muffled.

“Hiding in a bedroom. Very social of you guys,” Richie comments before turning specifically to Eddie. “What’s up, Eds?” 

He makes his way over to pinch Eddie’s cheek and Eddie recoils, pushing his hand away.

“We’re not hiding, we’re bored,” Ben insists.

“Well, you're bored because you’re _hiding_.”

Richie plops down on the bed next to Eddie with as much weight as he can so the mattress bounces and caves in slightly, forcing Eddie to lose his balance and lean against Richie’s side for just a moment. It’s a small act that could be called pathetic but he doesn’t care.

Richie turns to Eddie because no matter how hard he tries, there’s nothing in the world that can get him to stop indulging in his presence. It’s the same everywhere they go: Richie engages Eddie in conversations or stupid exchanges because he just wants Eddie’s attention on him _all the time_. He’s honestly surprised Eddie still tolerates him because he gets so goddamn annoying when he’s nervous and Eddie makes him nervous all the time. 

“Hey, Eds, do you know how many bed bugs live in the average mattress?”

He’s an asshole to poke around in Eddie’s fears, he knows that. But teasing is all he knows and if he suddenly compliments Eddie out of nowhere, everyone will give him a very weird look. So he sticks to what works and what gets a reaction long enough from Eddie that Richie can feel satisfied with.

“Fuck you, Rich!” Eddie exclaims and pushes himself off of the bed, shuddering and wiping his hands on the sides of his legs.

“He’s kidding, Eddie. Come on, just sit down,” Ben assures.

“No, he’s not,” Eddie says, looking panicked. “I remember reading about that and I can’t believe I forgot about it. These things are like an exterminator’s wet dream!”

“Speaking of wet dreams,” Richie says. “How’s Mrs. K?”

Eddie glares at him. “Gross.”

“Sit down, Eds! No bed bug’s gonna get you with me around.”

“Yeah, like you can fight them off.”

“Of course I can! Look at these muscles!” Richie says, flexing his biceps which admittedly don’t have much going for them. “These babies are how I get the ladies.”

Beverly snorts. 

The discussion is cut short when Lucy and another girl burst into the bedroom door and scan the room.

“Hey guys, we’re playing truth or dare in the living room if you wanna join,” Lucy says with a gentle smile.

Lucy was always one to be nice to them, unlike the majority of the school, which was appreciated. She’s generally a nice girl and the only one who would ever invite them to a party like this. She leaves without waiting for a response.

“Hiding, you say?” Bev says, watching Richie with her hands in her back pockets. “Let’s go be social, boys.”

The boys survey one another, trying to see if anyone has any objection, before they all shrug in agreement. Beverly smiles sweetly and leads the way to the living room.

A few of the party guests are still either chatting in the kitchen or making out with someone in a closed bedroom but a good amount are spread across the living room couches and floor in some sort of a circle. Richie follows Eddie’s steps habitually and when he takes a seat on the end of one of the couches, Richie sits right next to him.

The game starts off quite normally with questions about crushes or attraction and dares of borderline-sexual acts or embarrassing performances. A few people make out, a few people confess their secrets, and a few people ask dumb questions like _What’s your favorite animal?_ It isn’t a surprise that everyone is using the game as a way to get any sort of physical affection from the opposite sex. Even Ben ends up touching some girl’s left boob. He was burning red throughout the whole thing and seemed to hate it the most out of the two of them. 

Despite being the one insisting on being ‘social,’ Richie isn’t too engaged for the most part––he’s too busy sneaking glances at Eddie. Since there are too many people packed into a relatively-small room, everyone is forced to be quite close to one another, touching shoulders and thighs. Since Eddie’s sitting with Derek Nelson to his right, a boy who was known to not have the best body odor, he scoots even closer to Richie than he has to solely to put space between him and Nelson. Richie shifts back a bit to rest a hand behind Eddie, who’s suddenly so close to Richie that they’re just a few inches from Eddie’s back being flush against Richie’s chest. Eddie’s hair keeps brushing against Richie’s cheek and Richie gets light-headed. He can feel all too well the heat radiating off of Eddie’s body and his light but very pleasant scent. He’s barely enduring the sensory overload.

At some point, Richie thinks maybe him and Eddie will go the entire game without anyone choosing them and nothing embarrassing will happen to them but he’s proven mistaken when Gretta Keene stares at Eddie with a raised eyebrow and says,

“Kaspbrak. Truth or dare?”

Eddie seems just as surprised as Richie does. Having been caught of guard, he stutters out,

“Um, dare.”

Gretta smirks and Richie feels very uneasy, too familiar with the kind of person she was. 

“I dare you to kiss Cindy,” she says, nudging Cindy Walker, who was sitting next to her.

Cindy’s jaw drops and her eyebrows furrow in an expression that reads _Are you really going to make me do this?_ Paired with a few other chuckles around the room, it becomes very apparent that they're making fun of Eddie. As if kissing him was downright disgusting and embarrassing. This is some terrible joke at Eddie’s expense to tease Cindy. Richie knows all too well that later, Gretta is going to tell Cindy _I can’t believe you really kissed him_ as they giggle. It makes his jaw clench and his nails dig into the skin of his palm with irritation. Judging by Eddie’s disheartened expression, he can tell Eddie knows it too. 

Richie is now considerably annoyed and he really wants to pull Eddie away from here.

Cindy crawls over to Eddie and rolls her eyes before leaning in to kiss him for a short moment as Eddie stiffens. Gretta snickers with her friends and smiles condescendingly. The second Cindy moves away, she wipes her mouth with the back of hand. Richie glimpses at Eddie with concern. He looks plainly embarrassed. If he could, Richie would kiss him right then and there to show him that it’s not disgusting in the slightest to do so and anyone who got the chance would be privileged. But he can’t, so Eddie slumps back and Richie feels this horrible itch to console him or punch everyone in the room.

A few more rounds pass by, Mike gets an aggressive Indian Burn from Patrick Hockstetter, who sprays spit in his face when he bursts out laughing at Mike’s wince, the girls try to force Bev to say how many people she’s sucked off, and Richie soon realizes how really terrible of an idea it was to come to this party in the first place.

  
  


When the truth or dare group disperses, Richie is so tired of the whole party, instead of returning to the bedroom with the rest of the Losers, he disappears into the halls before stumbling upon an empty room that appears to be the parents’ bedroom. There’s a large bed with floral sheets and a window that’s cracked open, the sound of people outside in the backyard laughing and shouting flooding inside. He peers through it and, sure enough, Gretta and her friends are in a hot tub with some boys in the swimming pool, water being illuminated by the pool lights. Some of them have red cups in their hands and others are just splashing one another. Without trying that hard, he can make out what people are saying.

“I hate you for that, Gretta,” he hears Cindy say, though there’s no genuine resentment and they're both smiling.

“What?” Gretta asks in an innocent tone.

“You made her kiss Kaspbrak!” a different girl exclaims next to them.

“You couldn't have chosen someone better?” Cindy says. “Someone _hot_?”

“Are you telling me you don’t think Kaspbrak’s hot?” Gretta jokes, barely able to keep herself from bursting out laughing.

The three of them giggle as if that wasn’t a question that even needed to be asked without the answer being _No_. Richie shuts the window because if he hears any more, he probably would go down and yell at them. And he isn’t in the mood to start anything, nor does he have the ability to even try and start something without getting punched in the face. He falls down onto his back on the bed and lets out a long sigh.

He’s disappointed, more than anything, at how his night is turning out. He supposes it was too much of a reach to have that romantic television drama moment. There’s a few things that need to change before there can even be a chance. For one, his crush needs to show even a smidge of a sign that he feels the same way. Also, he and his crush need to not be the laughingstock of the entire school that will humiliate them for their own entertainment. He’s stupid to believe something could happen anyway. Now his friends are exhausted, Eddie is disheartened, and Richie is doing exactly what he made fun of his friends for doing: hiding. He’s hiding from any possibility of the night getting worse. It really is just all a disappointment.

He’s given up on the idea of anything happening between him and Eddie at this point. At the risk of sounding like an eccentric fortune teller, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. He knew coming into the party that tonight would be the last trial of a hint toward any future relationship. So far, the results haven’t been ideal, but it was about time Richie stopped pining and started going back to when Eddie was just his best friend. The universe has spoken against his wishes. He’s upset about it, yes, because he really likes Eddie but if he continues like this, he’ll just bury himself in stress because there’s no reciprocation. He needs to _get over it_. 

The door opens suddenly, startling Richie, but he relaxes a bit when he sees it’s just Eddie with curious eyes. In any other situation, his heart would probably pick up its speed and his stomach would turn but now, Eddie isn’t his crush, he’s just Eddie. 

“What’s up, Eds? Can’t keep yourself away from me, huh?”

“Ha- _ha,_ ” Eddie mocks, unamused. “You just disappeared, we were looking for you.”

“Well, I must be terrible at hiding because you’ve found me. Here, come lay down with me.”

“On the bed?” Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“With the bugs?”

Richie lets out a laugh, having forgotten about the bed bugs from earlier. “Oh, come on, don’t be a baby.”

“I’m not a baby.”

“Looks like Mrs. K managed to finally brainwash you––”

He’s cut off by Eddie kicking him in the shin and muttering a _Shut up_ before cautiously laying down on the bed next to him. Richie’s chuckling and he can feel his chest vibrating with his laughs. They lie there for some time, staring up at the blank ceiling in silence. Richie likes it like this––just him and Eddie together without having to think of what to say next. He likes that he doesn’t have to avert his gaze when Eddie glimpses at him and pretend he wasn’t just staring at him. He likes not having to try his hardest to touch Eddie briefly on the shoulder or on the hand just to have some physical contact. He likes the simplicity of just staring at the ceiling with Eddie next to him and not saying a thing. 

It was just like this before Richie became aware of his crush. Before he figured out his feelings, all he knew was that he liked spending time with Eddie, as straightforward as that. But then he started thinking about it and wondering why his heart picks up when Eddie glimpses at him, or why he misses Eddie so much when he’s not with him, or why he now wants to kiss Eddie. He started thinking that he likes spending time with Bill and Bev as well but why can he go a day without seeing them and be alright with it when he stays in bed and grumbles when he doesn't see Eddie? Before he knew it, he dug himself in this hole of stupid jokes, awkward conversations, and a whole lot of _Why did I say that?_ It shouldn’t be this hard to like someone. In fact, it should just be really simple. He likes Eddie––simple as that. He likes being with him, he likes talking to him, and he thinks he’s really cute. And if Eddie likes him back: great. If not: oh well, that’s life. Right?

He wonders if he’s so far gone from sanity that he doesn’t realize what he’s thinking is stupid or if he’s finally thinking clearly.

Richie turns his head to gaze at Eddie who also turns his head. It dawns on him how close they really are; they’re just a couple of inches short of touching noses. Richie can feel Eddie’s gentle, irregular exhales on his face. Eddie’s eyes are really pretty, he thinks. He’s always known this, but it’s rare that he can really study them for longer than a second without getting nervous and looking away. But here he is now, truly noticing how pretty it is when Eddie’s soft-colored irises and large pupils gleam in the light.

“Those glasses make your eyes look weird, you know,” Eddie says, voice low. “You look like a bug.”

Richie stays quiet for what seems like the first time in his life. It’s not like he doesn’t know what to say but truthfully, he’s too busy admiring Eddie’s face––the freckles that trail across the bridge of his nose, the rosy hue in the apples of his cheeks, and the flutter of his eyelashes when he blinks. For the second time that night, Richie thinks that Eddie smells really good, kind of like soft vanilla and laundry detergent. Richie smiles; of course he smells like laundry detergent. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever really seen you without your glasses,” Eddie tells him, having sounded like he’s thought long and hard about it.

“Do you think you’re ready to see that part of me, Eds? Richie Tozier in his full glory?”

“I wouldn’t say _glory_.”

Eddie reaches a hand over and carefully pulls Richie’s glasses off his face before setting them somewhere on the bed. Richie blinks a few times and suddenly, he can see Eddie much more clearly and it almost surprises him how he looks even _more_ beautiful. It’s so blatant that even though he thinks about it so often, he feels like he completely missed it.

“There’s my gorgeous face for you,” Richie mutters, though it’s missing that arrogant tone most of his ‘jokes’ have.

Eddie just gives a short hum, also divergent from his usual irritated responses, and his eyes trail down Richie’s face before stopping at his lips, making him feel oddly exposed. He wets his lips out of habit and Eddie’s eyes are still on them. It’s never been this intimate between them. Richie, who pokes fun at the most inappropriate times, wouldn’t dare make any idiotic joke now––it feels too serious, too real. Part of him wants to say something to try and ascertain what Eddie’s thinking right now but the other part of him thinks anything he says will mess everything up.

So he doesn’t say a word. Instead, he closes his eyes and without thinking it over anymore, he leans in and kisses Eddie. He feels Eddie wince in shock before he relaxes and kisses him back. Richie brings a hand up to cradle his jaw and hold him there. They part for a quick moment before leaning in at the same time to kiss again. Richie wants to scream out in happiness or elation or anything. 

Apparently, not thinking works out well for him so he doesn’t think and puts his hands on Eddie’s hip to try and lift him. Eddie gets the message and raises a leg over to straddle Richie. He pulls away and Richie reluctantly opens his eyes, finding Eddie gazing at him, bottom lip between his teeth, with a look of eager desire. Richie keeps his hands on his waist and Eddie takes his own to hold the sides of Richie’s neck and rest his thumbs on his jaw. They stare at one another wordlessly, perhaps worrying what to say next but Eddie kisses him instead, much to Richie’s pleasure.

All that’s running through Richie’s mind is how much he adores the feeling of Eddie’s soft lips on his. It’s a feeling that something was missing for so long and now that the last puzzle slid into place, he feels so complete, it’s overwhelming. He almost wants to cry. Everything feels right, from Eddie’s knees on either side of his hips to his warm hands on his skin. Richie can’t stop telling himself that this is all so great, perfect, amazing, fantastic, breathtaking, and if he had a thesaurus, he could list ten more words. 

“Rich,” Eddie mumbles against Richie's bottom lip when he pulls away just the slightest, breathing heavily.

Richie makes some noise that’s supposed to be _What?_ but there’s no way he can form a proper word with Eddie’s nose brushing his cheek and his breath tingling his neck.

“Richie, I…” Eddie tries to say but he’s clearly distracted and his train of thought speeds off the rails.

“Eds,” Richie utters in a pathetic attempt to give an instruction. “Kiss.”

“But––”

“Eddie, _please_.”

“No,” Eddie insists, much more commanding than Richie, and pulls away, sitting back on Richie’s thighs and brushing his hands across Richie’s chest as he does.

Richie huffs but opens his eyes. Eddie’s lips are red and his face is pink and Richie feels a sense of accomplishment that he made him look so pleased. Eddie takes a few more breaths before fixing his gaze directly at Richie.

“Richie, I like you,” he states and Richie let out a weak laugh.

“I figured. Otherwise you’d probably would’ve punched me by now.”

“Is that it? Your response to my big confession?” He sounds a bit offended.

Richie breaks out in a crooked grin and reaches over, wrapping his hands around Eddie’s wrist. He pulls him closer until Eddie rests his hands on either side of Richie’s head. Richie looks straight up and Eddie’s looking right back at him.

“Eddie, darling,” Richie says, his smile widening unintentionally. He lets out a content sigh and says: “I’m a main character.”

Eddie furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “What?”

Chuckling, Richie pulls Eddie’s face closer to his. He mumbles “Nothing,” against his lips and leans in to kiss him again.

Maybe he can wait a little longer before he gets over Eddie.

**Author's Note:**

> alternatively, me making up names for side characters because i can't bother


End file.
